Let’s rewind to a few weeks ago..

Moving to New York City aka “The City” has been a dream of mine for as long as I could remember. Now the dream has come true! I am officially a New Yorker since exactly 27 days ago! It has been magical with a sprinkle of dreadful moments, but today has been the most magical and I learned a very important lesson.

Moving somewhere new with hopes of expanding your dreams comes with a lot of pressure. It’s easy to get caught up with your to-do list, financials and the planning of your next business move. When using a pressure cooker that doesn’t have an opening to let the steam out there’s a good chance it can and will explode. Well I can attest to this, at least to a certain extent.

The fashion industry is super competitive, saturated and overall challenging. When having a start-up company it’s all these things amplified. Especially when on a tight budget and being the only employee at most times. It’s easy to get overwhelmed, stressed out and feeling that you’re never doing enough.

Thinking this way led me to become very disconnected and easily consumed with fear, doubt and anxiety — the real three stooges. When focusing so hard and constantly trying to plan something may lead to an inner conflict within yourself. Insecurities arise and it’s very hard not to judge yourself harshly when you feel constant pressure. If you don’t know what I mean it goes something like this, “what if something goes wrong, why am I not where I thought I was going to be by this age?, this girl is doing this, I need more followers on social media, I wish I was rich, why am I not rich already?, if I had _____ then _____ would be better, if I was able to do or be ______ then everything would be better, maybe my dreams are too big, am I stupid, no maybe just crazy, ugh this is stupid.” blah blah blah blah!

Thankfully I have my family, a great group of friends (some of which I have made since moving) all whom are super supportive, positive and kind. I also have the tips I have learned from my mindfulness class, philosophy class (currently in) and meditation practice. However, sometimes it’s hard to not focus on the chaos instead of just being still. It takes a lot of practice and patience.

One thing I have to mention: so often when we feel alone or weak there are sooooo many other people that feel the same way! I noticed in the city there are tons of people that feel unhappy or inadequate and I don’t think they realize almost everyone feels that way at some point or another! It’s crazy.

The turnaround..

The weather was finally warming up in the city so I decided to have some me time and try to relax without stress so I packed my bag with a blanket, some books, a healthy snack, water, and headed to Central Park. After about 15–20 minutes of walking I arrived at Central Park. Where do I start in this huge park? Instead of thinking too much, I just started to walk.

Quickly my ears perked up, I was hearing some beautiful sounds. Once I turned the corner I saw a few guys and their instruments playing lively jazz music. It cohesively fit the scene and energy of the park like a medley. Soon after I stumbled upon a beautiful pond. The Conservatory Pond, to be exact (thanks Google). It was really nice to see a bunch of people just enjoying themselves and the weather on such a lovely day.

 

 

I found a spot behind a big beautiful and [still] bare tree. I laid out my little blanket, spread out all of my books and took a minute before diving into them to just enjoy the moment. I took a few breathes and focused on just being there. Observing, breathing, and feeling the heated sun on my back. As I looked forward it was nice to see my surroundings. I saw families. Fathers proudly helping their kids operate the remotes to drive the little sailboats in the pond. I saw couples holding hands and lots of people walking their dogs.

 

 

Before I could even open a book I found an older grey haired gentleman and his cute pug making way to sit next to me. Of course before he did I said hi and commented on the dog and apparently that was his entry way to sit. No problem, I thought you never know who you can meet in New York City. We had about an hour conversation. It was interesting with a touch of New York history and facts. I definitely learned a few things. Also, he shared some helpful tips about the park. It was nice to learn them from a person and not just google search. Also, I really love pugs! Note to self: I think I want one in the future. 

 

 

 

However, after he left I looked at the time and I became slightly agitated because I “lost” some perfect reading time. However after taking a breathe I reevaluated my thinking I was happy I got to chat and meet someone new. Also, I think he would be a great connection for my friend so I got his information. Now it was back to “me’ time.

I read a few chapters from a couple of my books before getting chased out by an un-welcomed bee. Of course I jumped up and made a small scene I am petrified of bee’s and this one knew so he stuck around for a bit until I decided to leave. It was time to venture somewhere new anyway.

 

 

I walked around the pond and up a small hill. On top was a little garden fast food restaurant type place (it reminded me of an area where you get food at a theme park, just a little nicer). I ordered a small coffee and kept walking. I walked past a long line of people and when I turned the corner I found out why. It was a line to rent gondola boats on the little lake. I never knew they had gondola boats! It was so beautiful and looked like so much fun. Other note to self: I will definitely be doing that sometime soon.

 

 

Then I came to a little plaza with a big dried up fountain. There was a young boy playing his violin. I closed my eyes and opened them and it felt like I was in Spain or Italy. How beautiful it was. To be there in that moment enjoying this man and admiring his talent. I also thought about how courageous it was to do that. I always think about the courage it takes to do anything like that in front of strangers.

 

 

To the left of the young man I noticed there was about 5 chairs all set up with people in them and they were getting massages. “Wow” I thought, “this is great!” I have been wanting a massage for months now (especially since the move) and this is the moment. “How much is it?” I asked the asian man, “$10” he said and well I had exactly $10, so a massage I had and great it was!

After my massage was finished I heard another type of music towards the left in the distance so I followed it to that location. It was a band of about 5 guys playing a song. I don’t know what instruments they were playing and I don’t know what type of song it was, but it was upbeat and exciting to listen to. I found a spot adjacent to the band on a green hill with lots of yellow dandelions. I then opened my book and started reading.

Now this book I have already read a few times. Unfortunately my memory doesn’t always have the capacity to remember everything from it so I find myself re-reading it every year or so. This book changed my life when I read it years ago and every time since. It’s called “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success” by Deepak Chopra.

I’m on Law 5 which is “The Law of Intention and Desire.” “Intention combined with detachment leads to life-centered, present-moment awareness.” Wow I thought and re-read it a few times. He also goes on to say “Intention, grounded in this detached freedom of the present, serves at the catalyst for the right mix of matter, energy, and space-time events to create whatever it is that you desire.”

Damn he’s right. I have been thinking so much about the future and my next “business move” I was so disconnected with the present. I was so attached to the outcome I wasn’t fully present even if I tried to convince myself I was. Also in this chapter is a list of 5 steps to help fulfill desires and intention to generate its own power: I won’t list them all (buy the book and see for yourself — it’s incredible), but #2 states “Releasing your intentions and desires in the gap (meditation term between thoughts and stillness) meansplanting them in the fertile ground of pure potentiality, and expecting them to bloom when the season is right.”

That is everything right there, so that’s what I did. I pulled up my old list of desires on my notes, I took a few deep breathes, and released them into the gap. #5 states “Let the universe handle the details.. Trust that infinite organizing power of intention to orchestrate all the details for you.”

Shortly after that great moment I decided to venture off into another part of the park. I got up and walked up to the right of the hill around the exquisite detailed carved bridge. From there I made a left which brought me to a big open area with lots of benches and trees. It was my favorite part of the park thus far. I was instantly captivated by the first tree I saw. It was so unique in design and had a huge trunk. I walked around it in a circle while staring up at it’s beauty.

 

 

Now this may sound silly, but almost a year ago I started taking pictures of this one tree by my house in New Jersey. I took pictures of it through every season (except summer — note to self: take soon). It was magnificent to capture it’s different stages. I think this was sparked by reading some of my spirituality books maybe “Change your thoughts, change your life” by Wayne Dyer. I am not sure exactly, but trees are amazing!

 

 

As I walked further into this new area I started to tear from happiness. The trees didn’t have many leaves on them so you got to see their bold bare selves. Each of them different from the rest and all equally beautiful. Some branches zig-zagging in all different ways. Each of them being there and going with the natural flow of the seasons. Not being forced, just standing tall and full of strength. Some trees were in the early phases of bloom which when the sun started to go down the tips of them turned orange. I was just in awe.

 

 

As you already know trees give us oxygen so we can breathe. If you don’t know this, trees are an energy force. That is why people hug trees because it radiates energy. Unfortunately they are taken for granted everyday by many, myself included. Fortunately, in many cultures they are looked up to and are a symbol for resilience, strength, wisdom, and eternal life, just to name a few.

 

 

After reconnecting with trees and nature in Central Park today I wrote this in my notes:

“After spending this beautiful day in Central Park completely enriched in nature and my books, I feel so much more connected. Nature really is the best medicine. Being grounded and surrounded by nature has such a simplistic beauty and calm energy that it literally uplifts your spirit. I am so thankful for the gifts that Mother Nature provides and the speaking she does to my soul.”

 

I am excited to continue on my journey detaching myself from expectations and instead planting roots in the gap and leaving the universe to water them. Also, trust in knowing whatever’s meant for me, won’t miss me.

 

 

Today I followed the orchestra of nature and music which led to me uncover different parts of the park and myself. Being tuned into the listening and the sounds helped me in accomplishing this. What are you tuning into? What are you tuning out of? If you are feeling frustrated, anxious, fearful, confused, or doubtful, go back into nature and just listen. Let me know what you find.

“Life is a musical and God is the conductor. If you are silent enough, you can hear it. If you are still enough, you can feel it." - Deana Delrose

 

“Find your light and shine it”

 

All pictures were taken by me in Central Park, New York City on April 16, 2016 

Feedback is welcomed so please feel free to leave all comments or questions. Also, click here to see the published article on Medium. http://bit.ly/BackToBasicsNature

By Dean'a Delrose

Delrose Chronicles